THREE MONTHS SOBER!!!

(A photo recap!!)

YOU GUYSSS!!! It has been three months since I decided to give up alcohol for good! I have accomplished so much in such a short timespan. I have done things that I never thought I'd be able to do. So, as we always do, let's talk about it!

I am still at such an early stage of sobriety, I'm like a sober baby! However, it feels almost like this has been my lifestyle forever at the same time. At the start of this journey, I was finding it too easy. I started to wonder how on earth I have failed in the past. Saying that though, the further in I have gotten, I have started to understand that at the very start, you get such a buzz about being sober that it is easy for a while. Some people may be lucky enough to keep that buzz going, I am not one of those people, as I have come to discover. The past maybe, six weeks, I have discovered that I do not like going to the pub anymore. At the start of sobriety, I had no issues with this, other then a little bit of anxiety before hand. However, the longer time has gone on, the more difficult I find it to be in that environment.

For some context, I have a very big family because my parents split up when I was a baby. I have stepparents who have been in my life for a long time too and I am very grateful for them and for all of the little sisters that my parents have gone on to give me with their partners. This does mean though, that there is ALWAYS a celebration, there is always someone wanting to see me and I am often playing catch up because by the time I have seen everyone, it's time to start again. I am grateful for this, of course. It does mean though, that there is a lot of us when you include grandparents and aunts and uncles, so a lot of the time we meet up in pubs for a meal or to socialize. I do not expect anyone to change their plans for me or to fit around me at all but, I also find that not going isn't really an option for me because I am then the person that "doesn't bother" and it is really hard to explain myself to people. So, pubs feel unavoidable to me. The longer I am sober, the harder I am finding this. Being the person that doesn't drink, in a place that is literally built for the purpose of drinking, feels kind of rubbish. My dad's wife is currently pregnant, so I have a sober buddy and my boyfriend doesn't drink right now either, so he is always a god send... but the beers, gins, vodka cokes spread out on the table before me, feel like a war in my mind. What I wouldn't give for a cold pint of beer in these situations. It's very difficult at the moment, I am a people pleaser.

Moving away from the pub, drinking at home, my mortal enemy... has mostly disappeared. I find that I only want a drink at home if I am having a really hard time with my emotions. I don't give in though, I just talk about them, do some writing or reading or cry it out. I try my best to do a mental check list of every other possible thing I could do that isn't drinking alcohol, it works for me. I also practically sit on my hands until the shops shut (I do not keep any alcohol at home for myself) and if that's how it has to be sometimes, then that's okay. I am a human, it'll be hard sometimes. Trusting myself is a big part of this. I have to trust that I am not gonna let myself ruin my sobriety.

(Valentines Cake as mentioned below!)

During the past 3 months, I have really gone all in on my hobbies. I have become a beta reader for indie authors and do editing work, arc reading, etc... as a free service for them. It's nice to get my brain back and to feel inspired again. I have also taken up baking, I baked my boyfriend a valentines cake, I made a lemon cheesecake and I am shortly going to be giving cookies another try, I can never seem to get them right though. I have tried channeling my addictive behavior into other harmless things, so I now have a stuffed Panda bear collection and I also have a hamster who is SPOILT ROTTEN!!! We have been on holiday since becoming sober and I completely smashed that. I have tried so many NA drinks and I have made lots of sober friends too. I have hit so many milestones and I have been just... doing it!! I am really just now trying to figure out who I am without a toxic relationships, alcohol and constant heartbreak.

(Cheesecake as mentioned above!)

Mental health check in - I am still working through a lot of stuff. I have however, come to understand that my anxiety and depression didn't come from drinking and I have only been able to discover that through sobriety! I also understand though, that drinking was 100% not helping me cope like I thought it was.

These past three months have been a whirlwind, but overall, they have been positive and I feel like I am only on the up. I have had moments of questioning if sobriety is for me, I have had weak moments... but I'm here and I am still SOBER!!

That is all from me today!! Thank you for being here and for reading about my last THREE SOBER MONTHS!!! If you want to contact me or to follow my journey some more, you can find me on threads and insta as @imsoberpositive !! I would love to connect with you, to know what you think of these blogs and what you would like to see next.

(Sending tiny Violet kisses your way friends!)

Until next time, from me and Violet,

Keep going & remember, one day at a time.

-P x

imsoberpositive