A Moment...

 Hi, this post is a little bit different to the other ones that I've posted so far. I had a bit of a moment today and in a moment where I would usually collapse emotionally, I found some strength. I feel like my sobriety is working. It is doing what I intended for it to do. I wanted to share with you guys, a little bit about that moment in hopes that it may help someone, anyone that needs it. I would love it if you would tell me about any similar moments you have had, especially early on in your sobriety journey. 

The moment;

 Sitting down, bottle opener in hand, I stare at the cool drop of water running down the neck of the bottle of the San Miguel that I've just pulled out of the fridge. A Christmas left over. It doesn't belong to me but still it stares at me as if it was truly meant for me this entire time, like it's been waiting to be the one that ends my dry streak. There have been harder day's of sobriety, yet sat here, it feels like this very moment is the biggest challenge I'll ever face. I look at it, wondering if it's worth it, if the taste will be worth the feeling of disappointment that I am destine to feel in the morning.

 It was in this exact moment that I realized something. This whole time, I have thought that alcohol had this weird power over me, that I just couldn't help it, it owns me. But sat there looking at that beer, bottle opener digging into the palm of my hand, I realized that I have always had the power, I have always had the choice. Yes, I have been weak and sometimes I have been convinced that there was no other way but I have always had the choice. I have always had the ability to pick ME, I have just never had the wanting to.

 I have the ability and I have the choice to change the things that I am not comfortable with. I can change the things that make me reach for the bottle in the first place. No it isn't easy and maybe, right now in this moment, I am having a super surge of strength, I don't know. All I know is that I get to choose and I choose me.

 Thank you for reading. I hope it makes sense. In the moment described above, I got a notification on my phone. I didn't read it until after but when I did, I saw that it was a notification from an app I have to track my sobriety, telling me to say no to temptation. How crazy is that? It was like a sign.

 Hard times come, of course but they also go. It is all about how you handle them. I know that sometimes it can feel almost impossible to keep going but you can, you can do this. I hope that this post helps you see that you are incredibly strong, as am I.

 That is all from me today!! Thank you for being here and for reading about this moment. If you want to contact me or to follow my journey some more, you can find me on threads and insta as @imsoberpositive !! I would love to connect with you, to know what you think of these blogs and what you would like to see next.

Until next time,

Keep going & remember, one day at a time.

-P x